{"id":9,"date":"2014-03-26T06:08:27","date_gmt":"2014-03-26T06:08:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/demo.mythemeshop.com\/magxp\/?p=9"},"modified":"2014-03-26T06:08:27","modified_gmt":"2014-03-26T06:08:27","slug":"cape-feare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/?p=9","title":{"rendered":"Typist: An Excellent, Free App to Learn Touch Typing on Mac"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m normally not a praying man, but if you&#8217;re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It&#8217;s what separates us from the animals\u2026except the weasel. I&#8217;m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I learn? The answers to life&#8217;s problems aren&#8217;t at the bottom of a bottle, they&#8217;re on TV! Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.<\/p>\n<h2>Radioactive Man<\/h2>\n<p>Well, he&#8217;s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace &#8220;accidentally&#8221; with &#8220;repeatedly&#8221; and replace &#8220;dog&#8221; with &#8220;son.&#8221; What&#8217;s the point of going out? We&#8217;re just going to wind up back here anyway. You don&#8217;t win friends with salad. I&#8217;m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Bart, with $10,000 we&#8217;d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like\u2026love!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.<\/li>\n<li>Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There&#8217;s a *New* Mexico?<\/li>\n<li>Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Rosebud<\/h3>\n<p>Ahoy hoy? I&#8217;ll keep it short and sweet \u2014 Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Bart, with $10,000 we&#8217;d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like\u2026love!<\/p>\n<h4>Cape Feare<\/h4>\n<p>Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you&#8217;re experiencing numbness and\/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box\u2026 Uh, no, they&#8217;re saying &#8220;Boo-urns, Boo-urns.&#8221; Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. &#8220;Thank the Lord&#8221;? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don&#8217;t have a place within an organized religion. I didn&#8217;t get rich by signing checks.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>I&#8217;m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.<\/li>\n<li>This is the greatest case of false advertising I&#8217;ve seen since I sued the movie &#8220;The Never Ending Story.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power\u2026like God must feel when he&#8217;s holding a gun.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h5>The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show<\/h5>\n<p>I hope I didn&#8217;t brain my damage. Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you&#8217;re experiencing numbness and\/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box\u2026<\/p>\n<h6>Duffless<\/h6>\n<p>I prefer a vehicle that doesn&#8217;t hurt Mother Earth. It&#8217;s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. I was saying &#8220;Boo-urns.&#8221; Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m normally not a praying man, but if you&#8217;re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It&#8217;s what separates us from the animals\u2026except the weasel. I&#8217;m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I learn? The answers to life&#8217;s problems aren&#8217;t at the bottom of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":160,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[308,313,314],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/160"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blitzconquista.com.br\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}